Pain of Abandonment
by SiriBauer
Summary: Face's thoughts and feelings when the Team was convicted for robbing the Bank of Hanoi.


Author's Note: This is my first A-Team fanfic. So I would really appreciate if you let me know what you think, so I can improve what ever needs to be improved.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own the A-Team. I just borrowed the characters for a short time to play with them. They still belong to the rightful owner!

Thanks to my beta Twilightstar7!

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><p><strong>Pain of Abandonment<strong>

"_We therefore find this unit guilty of all crimes."_

It took Lieutenant Templeton "Faceman" Peck a few seconds to realize what those words meant, but when he did they hit home fast and hard.

He didn't fully understand what the judge said afterwards (something about imprisonment for twenty years?). All he could hear was his own heartbeat that suddenly quickened, followed by an attempt to suck in the air that his body needed (that had somehow disappeared over the last minute). The next thing the young man noticed were his legs giving away under him, causing him fall back into the chair that he had been sitting on just before the judge came back into the room to announce the sentence.

Face was vaguely aware of Hannibal and B.A., who were standing next to him, calling out his name in concern. He wasn't able to react to anything that was going on around him. All he noticed were the buried feelings and insecurities he had so long fought to control before finally being able to do so thanks to Hannibal, Murdock and B.A. Now the feelings of abandonment and rejection were coming back full force.

Face had never been good enough. Not for his parents or anyone else who had pretended to care about him after they left. The first time he had ever felt like he was wanted, at least a little bit, was after he joined the army. Granted, he tended to spend a lot of time in some kind of a cell due to his habit of continually getting in some sort of trouble. But the army never rejected him. He was always allowed to stay, which was more than Face could say about all the other people he had known. Instead of punishing him, he had been given back to the orphanage by all the foster parents who were willing to give him some kind of home.

But even his time with the military was now over. Face was rejected once more and this time it was for something that wasn't even his fault! Yes, they did rob the bank, but they were ordered to do so. Maybe that was the army's way of getting rid of him? But this time they didn't wait until he pissed them off so they could lock him up and throw the key away… they arranged for it.

Face closed his eyes against then emotional pain that had started to overwhelm him. He could handle gunshot wounds and everything else that had been thrown at him in the POW camp, but this seemed to be worse somehow. Funny though, he should be used to those feelings by now. Maybe the army managed to soften him up in that area? It had given him years to get used to them, allowing him to develop something that had come close to feeling like home – as close as what was possible under the circumstances – only to have it be smashed by one simple statement.

Slowly Face felt tears starting to build up behind his eyelids. In a vain attempt to keep them from falling he squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. He didn't have much left, but he could at least try to save what dignity he had left. It didn't do him much good though since his breathing had started to speed up. This brought him close to hyperventilation and passing out (which wasn't much better then crying like a baby). Though the latter would mean he at least could escape the pain he felt.

Suddenly he was aware of hands holding his shoulders and a concerned voice gently calling his name. He tried to ignore it. After all, all he could expect was more pain, but somehow this voice seemed to be different… as if it held a promise to not hurt him anymore.

Slowly and carefully Face opened his eyes again to be met by those of his CO, who was kneeling in front of him.

"Are you with me kid?"

Afraid about what his voice might sound like and because his breathing was still too fast, he just nodded. He heard Hannibal sigh with relief before he was addressed him.

"Good. I need you to slow down your breathing, before you pass out, ok? Can you do that?"

Another tentative nod was the response before the young Lieutenant closed his eyes. This time to concentrate on calming down his own breathing. It was weird, somehow, just to see Hannibal and B.A. who was standing behind the Colonel, eased his emotional pain. He couldn't put his finger down on the reason to it. Not until he had his breathing under control did his CO spoke again.

"It's alright, Face. I know how this must feel to you, but let me reassure you, you are not alone. And you never will be. We'll get through this. All four of us. I'll find a way to get us out of this mess. I promise."

Somehow this few words made Face feel safer than he ever had before in his life and he realized that he might have been betrayed by the army, but he also had found something he had never dreamed of getting: A family.

With this knowledge he felt stronger and knew that whatever might be thrown at his way, he would get through it because of Hannibal, Murdock and B.A.: his family.

The End


End file.
